Thursday, December 12, 2013

Five Sentence Fiction - ALONE

 She absentmindedly rubbed the ears of the little dog lying next to her on the sidewalk as the words to the old Gospel song drifted through the church window.
  It wasn't long ago she had stood on the altar of her own church singing with the choir, her parents watching with pride.

 Absorbed in the music, she didn't notice the elderly woman reaching down to put a dollar in her cup.

 As the choir repeated the last verse, she made no move to wipe away the tears rolling down the cheeks which hadn't felt her mother's kiss in nearly two years.

 In a whisper, she joined the voices singing "Lead me home."


  1. The visual of this I found to be quite good. But the sad part of your endeavor for this week is that this old woman is waiting for death to come and take her away to a much better place. Have I read too far into what you've written here, or have I gotten the message you want to elicit from those who read this.

    Would love to read your comment for my endeavor for this week,

    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

    2. In saying "it wasn't long ago she stood on the alter with her parents looking on" and "two years since she felt her mother's kiss" I was implying it was a young, homeless girl and the lyrics to the song perhaps help her find her way home. So in my mind, the story actually could have a happy ending.
      Thanks for your comment and letting me know your interpretation of my story, Robin. It's nice to know whether I've really gotten my thoughts across and it helps me to go back and reread to see what I could have written more clearly.